Wednesday, May 27

Cliff a small snippet

At cliff they do a thing called LNE which is really cool!

And they usually have like a speaker and a prayer and a response to either of these at some point in the evening (the theme of festival was change, so Friday night was God the same, Sat: change the world, Sun: change the church, Mon: Change me)
So Sunday I went to LNE and at the beginning of worship I sat there think I’m going to have to text someone about GOD and then the speaker got talking and he was saying how we as a generation had so many ways of communication and the more how he spoke the more I felt I really had to text/tell someone it was like my heart felt really warm so he got to the response

And he said I don’t want anyone to stand up out of emotion, just out of reason if anyone wants to commit wholly to
To spreading the gospel outside cliff festival stand up, think about it and stand up
And I sat there thinking well if I stand up it's an emotional response
I can’t
And the more I thought this the more I felt I had to stand up
So I had this internal struggle
I just kept thinking we
Well I can text someone later
You know
Meh I don’t need to stand up
Well in the end I stood up
Right and he said I’m going to pray for those who stood up (out of a room of 100 + there was about 15 of up) and then
Then he said after I’ve prayed I want you to do something

I want you to text at least three people asking to chat about God
Then at the end of worship I sat down and managed to zone out right through the heavy rock band and then silence. Took some lovely people to bring me back to planet earth.

Talk about God aye?

Kind of why I might have text you about Rain... It’s not exactly as if it’s great and completely shining in my life so say metaphorically you could class it is a slightly drizzly... but He – the awesome creator is. Amen to that.

He also told me over my slight nervousness of uni not to worry so all is rather good :D


Tuesday, May 19

What an amazing two years, but really what an amazing 18 years

Within the last five minutes the realisation that sixth form is coming to an end is rather to close for comfort. I know that exams for some of us (well me) are rather a way off yet but for most Friday is the last official day of college. Again I am bucking the trend and Thursday is my last day.

It's strange how quickly time goes, cause it only seems like yesterday that I was here before at the end of high school, my last day, waiting to go to cliff, turning 16 strangely ambling past people avoiding saying the dreaded goodbye. The only difference is in a way I was glad to leave high school (yes I do think that 14 G.C.S.E's was way too much).

However the friends and the experiences at Sixth Form will inevitably make me sad to leave Notre Dame. Maybe that’s why I'm not so sad I'm missing Friday to go to Cliff but rather glad to be putting off saying goodbye because this way I can leave it for just a few more days. Get used to the idea that I will no longer have to get up at 6.30 because I need to get ready to catch a bus, but rather because 6.30 is quite a jolly time to get up. That I won't have to walk up Surrey Street in all forms of adverse weather conditions, all with high winds as is the way on Surrey Street avoiding people buses and cars whilst risking your life to cross the road. I will neither be ridiculously early or sublimely late to form or assembly, no more weird assemblies, or damn strange form times. And I won’t have to remember which building I'm in for my lesson, or walk to the top of St. J's every Monday morning to be with the loud year twelve’s in AS Business. Nor will my history lessons ever again consist of wild hand gestures and question upon the religion and the existence of God. And I’m sure I will miss the weird tangents, stories and gossiping put forward by my fellow philosophy and ethics students, and the existence of squirrels in classes well definitely brighten up many days. And when the times of academia get too much I'm sure I will miss the scarily quiet library and the canteen with its supply of number 64 vending machine coffees. The food, the seeds, the stars for birthdays and the fire alarms, the collapsing people and the hugs when you burst into tears. I will miss the way small kids always get in the way and that there is always a person to pull funny faces at, or to stop and say hello to. I will miss my Friday lunch times often with their air of unpredictability, love and prayers.

I will of course miss most all the many great friendships formed either in passing or on a more substantial scale. Too many names to mention and embarrass, but it wouldn’t have been the same without them.

And I suppose as the saying goes, tide and time stay for no man and you have to move along with where the wind blows you. Whether you take a path that’s trodden in similar directions or you take another direction I suppose I would like to thank all friends for the last fantastic 18 years. Whether I've known you from NWHS, NDHS, MAYC, Guiding, church, etc, ect, etc or possibly from the future Thank you, for it is much my opinion that I am who you've made me.

Much love


Monday, May 18

written at worship leaders last night

Crashing round, crashing sound
Surrendering and bowing down
Breaking the bread
Drinking the wine
Coming to the Lords table to dine
Sharing the fellowship
Making amends
Sing Your praise
Of which will never end
Many tears of faith and joy
Sadness, fear and confusion
He takes our hands within his own
And helps us join as one
So here we take off our shoes
Become broken here before you
Warm our hearts with love and grace
And we shall smile
As we depart from this hall
We know that you shall not call
As we will walk with you

Thursday, May 14

yes i really am an accident prone walking disaster

how often do accidents bring what makes you smile.
I have once again twisted my ankle, i was thinking about the last time I did it. life hasnt been the same since.
life also hasnt been the same since i pulled my achilles tendon, i made some fantastic friends in doing that.

other accidents include spilling half a tonne of coffee over the canteen, or slicing your finger off....
tripping over a guy rope...... um 27 times

accidents maybe the way that we learn something about ourselves. and they are not in itself always bad.

Monday, May 11

I like to wear odd colour shoes
I like to wear heals even more
I would live in dresses and skirts if I could
The same goes for living in a tent
I have lived in nine houses
I’m 17
I don’t know how or why my nick name is spelt with out an e
I want to roll in the snow
I want to go kayaking
I like to dream
I write poems
I’ve even had a poem published
I want to publish my poetry books
I love being on radio
I love running around like a headless chicken
I love leading worship
I am a robin hood addict
I’m a Methodist
I’m trained in basic first aid
My favourite place in the world is the beach (in winter)
I love my friends
I like to receive letters
When I count I sometimes miss out 13
I like to sing and wont to learn to play the guitarI really do love my friends

Friday, May 8

late nights, early mornings, special connections, and half a tonne of texts :P

One of these days when I say "I'm going to have an early night" I might actually preceed not to get distracted. Okay so in this case it's not a bad distraction but a rather a much enjoyed and welcome one, none the less :P

any way today in the car on the way to drop of my course work (yep it's all done)we where discussing assemblies. now there is a link to what i'm going to type about which is special connections.

In my time i have done many assemblies, i have also seen some memorable ones, such as the one with the massacre of the ty beanie baby, or the one where our teacher ate dog food, and even one where we looked at a clip and completely missed the mouse. yet one which stands out kinda just for comedy genius is by a teacher who can only be described as the man who speaks in metaphors. He told this story, its about a special connection

There was a man who lived just away from a village, he was a holy man who prayed and prayed, and belived that god would answer his prayers

Then suddenly one day a disaster strikes, the land in which the man lives floods and the poor man you know can't really swim, so he stands there in a few inches of water and prays, because he has this special connection with God.
its getting a bit uncomfortable with the water and along comes a helicopter and it shouts down "wanna lift mate" and the man goes nah im fine god's gonna rescue me.
so he goes, back to his praying , he can no longer kneel in prayer as well the waters is risingbut he has faith.
then along comes a boat, and once agian this boat offers him a lift, but the man ever trusting in god declines and gets on with his praying.
now the man is standing kinda trying to stand on tip toes and this these pieces of wood float past and still he prays to god to save him. because of course he believes and has faith.
So about ten minutes later he lands at the entrnce of the pearly gates (he died) causing a small puddle and demands to the man on reception to see God so the receptionist (probably peter) obliging shows him to God.
the convo goes something like this

Man (annoyed) : I thought you understood me, i thought we had a special connection, i had faith, I prayed
God: yes yes now yep
Man (interupting) : now look there was a flood and i prayed for you to save me and well i ended up here dead... where were you
God: look man, you prayed so i answered, i mean i thought you would look at the helicopter and go ahha thank you lord but no
man: well you eum beh (stuttering)
God (continues): and then i sent that boat I mean were your eyes closed
man goes bright red
God: and the wood by then well i was getting slightly exsaperated i thought we had a special connection, even a blind man could see

How often do we miss the things right under our noses. special connections with God, and friends and just in general that maybe need to be looked at.

Special connections are great, just dont forget to keep your eyes open.


Thursday, May 7

where does all the time go... to heaven

People who make us smile are often the most valuable. I am blessed in my life to have a few who make me smile when of the day isn't pleasent. I have come down with that horrid cold that when typing coursework makes it near on possible to stay willing to live let along to smile.

I often think though as well we take for granted the people who make us smile. maybe it's time to tell them that they do. embaress them slightly by saying something. laugh at there reaction, they might even be a little scared, often it's humerous. let someone today know they make you smile, and often you will see that grin spread across that face.

Thank you everyone for the happy thoughts. I have nearly finished the course work so after that I will hopefully begin to write more often again.

I'm hoping this has made someone smile.


Friday, May 1

is the world just sunny today or faking it in fear, has love made skies a sunny bright, or will black clouds appear. And if we do not hold this place accountable to us, who willl stand up and save it when all else is lost

Broken and used, scared and abused

Inspiration - the source of everything, where would be if someone had not been inspired to do anything. For starters I would not be sitting upon a chair typing something on a computer, whilst waiting for a text, drinking coke and listening to Scott Stapp sing Broken - Hence the title (

Inspiration, that small spark of life that changes a person into motivation, starting do something. The BBC has recently run a show called the speaker, which I haven't been watching avidly but I caught a glimpse of a group of speaches for the semi-finals. They where asked to talk about what inspired them.

Now believe it or not I do quite like public speaking, typing is often easier but there is a certain thrill of standing up and talking to one person, pretty much the same as talking to in excess of 200 people. It's a personal dialogue, and my mother was saying how i might have been good at such a programme as the speaker, so she asked me what inspired me. To at which point I turned round and commented that spometimes inspiration isn't a singular thing that we recieve, it is something we should look for in everything we see, hear, say and do. Often inspiration comes from with in our selves (just got my text) we often don't see that what we ourselves do is amazing, For starters that fact that we are living beings is pretty complex and inspirational, wouldnt you say? Things we say ourselves to other can be inspirational, "sorry" "Yes" "Thank you" "I love you". Often forgotten and pushed aside for fear of worry and critical worries from others.I'm sure public speakers fear this more so than many.

Then of course there is the rest of the world, rape seed is out in majestic colour, and ocean of bright yellow that is quite sad and meloncholy I feel. But inspirational none the less. Martin Luther King Junior and his speach "I have a dream" has continuously inspired many, to do all sorts of things, drama, dance, freeedom!

What about a small child learning to play a violin, now they never set me freeon one of these and even my brother only had a cello, but I know just how badly they squeak when in the small hands of those learning to play. Inspirational or just painful? I think the former, you just have to look at the beauty of the situation, don't you?

My Inspiration for this week ? Well alsorts but mainly this video ...