Okay so I have had one major, major, major problem this year. One major theological query, one thing that has caused me more sleepless nights than attempting to sleep in a lions cage, brought me to more tears, more smiles and more laughs more than anything. One of the hardest things ever. And probably at the core of mission, the core of evangelism, the core of LIFE.
I've struggled and wrestled with theology; you name it predestination, the trinity, feminism, female leaders within the church, young leaders in the church, relational evangelism, children's spirituality, 1 Peter 2v4-10, old testament covenants and their relation to today, Islamic culture,the wesleyan quadrilateral and the fact there is only 7 days in a week, 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour (etc.) and its still not enough time sometimes, and to much at others.
I have wrestled with work; academic - meaning many thousands of words on the above topics. But also the stuff that allows me to be at college by paying for me to wash up, sweep floors and chop carrots.
I have wrestled with the fact that i never thought I would score a goal in football, play table tennis whilst being able to serve, get to play frisbee with people who loved, or dance in worship!
I have wrestled with the fact that this academic year I have a purpose on my life, and reason to be alive, and a chance to celebrate it. Whats more I walked out of two car accidents of varying severity with minor cuts. God is good.
I have sat through many lecture, I have sat in the doctors waiting room more times than I have with the doctor, and I have also been in an ambulance three times this year, and some form of A+E or minor injury units more time than any one else from college this year (not all for me.)
But Loving People thats a whole other ball game. How do you not get bogged down in theology to the point you forget that the Gospel preaches Christ risen - A God of Love. Humanity and divine on a cross to death for us. God loved people. He loved us, died for us, and just to shock every rose from the dead... for us. to bridge the gap. to LOVE us!
Further more, we're growing in Christ, which excites me, cause we're growing in love for one another! Amazing really. But not easy.
I live in a Christian community, and I love them, and this year we have looked at being salt and light in the community, and it got to me that we only thought about placements, home churches, communities outside of ours. But we are salt and light at home as well. Where ever you are sat now you are salt and light! and that means loving people.
I struggled with paid work as well. These people are people I see regularly but how am I showing love to them, being Christs love in their lives, salt and light and all that stuff!
So loving people. encouraging them, being with them, standing their when they've lost their keys, listening when they shout out, listening even harder when they whisper, trying not to judge them, sitting with them, kneeling with them dancing with them. Loving them... all people. I pray that this is what uses me for, for his kingdom. It's not going to be easy and I'm not perfect but its a call that I cannot deny. I recognise its not easy and sometimes there is no easy answer, and sometimes its hard to see you also need to let someone love you back, let someone serve you. But, I'm growing in Christ and learning and loving, bear with me as well.
Father God I pray you take my life and use it for you, allow me to be salt and light to your people. Help me to be Christs love to all, the down cast and the ecstatic, the excited the depressed and the in the middle. Father help me to encourage all people rather than judging. Let me be aware when love means saying hard things and being in tough situations, and when maybe it means walking away to allow someone else to be there instead. Lord help me serve your people. Lord let me love your people, and all people, as you love me and them.
In your almighty name.
time to start loving people, all people. and no giving up.