Now what? I haven't left, but I'm not there and it won't be the same. Will next year have the same moment of I have arrived? The question also remains to be asked what had and have I arrived at?
Did I expect to be dubbed the most clumsiest person in college?
Did I expect that my ability to plug in a PA system would lead me to do the AV for Adrian Plass?
Did I expect that my ability to stand up and talk in public to be noticed, challenged and developed in away that I am now on Note as a Local Preacher?
Did I expect the opportunity to do some crazy things, such as paddle through a rocky stream and attempt to climb rocks with and with out a harness?
Did I expect to sing a solo in a Christmas concert?
Did I expect to dye my hair?
Did I expect to let go of so much?
Did I expect to learn how to play poole, darts and table tennis?
Did I expect to feel like did?
Did I expect to go to Tesco's at midnight?
Did I expect to visit an Anglican Church?
Did I expect to apply for a taster course in MOD chapliancy?
Did I ever think I would have the courage to come home for the summer and help with Chaplaincy work in Norfolk?
Or to sit in a service where Puppets Ruled?
Does it matter what I expected? I am who I am now, because God challneged me with the unexpected. HE also placed me in a great support network with great friends! My second post on the day I arrived at Cliff College on my first year sums up a lot.
"At the end of the day..."
"At the end of the day, I am..."
"At the end of the day, God is..."
At the end of the day,
This I want to be.
Created in Your image,
I know that You know me.
I may be scared and tired,
but You are mighty and strong.
When I'm fighting my reality,
And can't find out what's Real,
I pray for rest and peace,
for I know Your loves me seal.