How do you come to terms with some things?

How do you come to terms with some things?

I just finished a course and placement with the Royal Army Chaplaincy Department. I'm really saddened that my placement have come to an end. Some things shocked me though and I think mostly just through sheer ignorance and not enough understanding or connection with the Army.

The average age of the people I met in the training regiment where between the age of my brother (17) and myself (19) although some were younger, and some were inevitably older.

The infantry regiment I had the pleasure to spend some time with would be the rough age range of the younger end here at Cliff College. 18 to to 22, although again some were older. 

However, the average age of a Chaplain, I think was more late 30's mostly within the 40's though.

There are only 5 female chaplains within the RAChD, of about 150 Chaplains in total.

Out of the infantry group that went on a recent tour, if I remember correctly lost five men on their tour.

One of the Chaplains who came of tour just under a year ago whilst on operations lost two of the 18 year olds (which at the time was how I old was) one early on in the tour and one towards the end. We watched a short picture movie of his funeral. It happened with horrendous snow and his brothers in arms shovelled all the snow away from the paths they needed, which was a fair length in total.

I still don’t know where I stand on Just War and I’m not the greatest theologian that ever lived. But my heart was broken for these guys. They just needed someone to talk to outside of the chain of command. Someone who when in the middle of operations and they want to talk about life and death… they can. I was ready to stand around and drink tea and have a supply of sweets. I wanted to be there to be there. I wanted them to know someone did care that someone would remember.

How do I come to terms with the sadness and loss that I feel currently after only spending 10 days with them?

How do I work a way towards a future?

How do you come to terms with some things?